The Gottman
Relationship Builder
for Individuals and

Powerful interventions for lasting relationships

The Gottman Method was developed by the world-renowned psychologists Drs. John and Julie Gottman. It consists of two important parts: a thorough assessment and a series of effective interventions.

The assessment identifies challenging areas of your relationship. Over the last 50 years, Drs. John and Julie Gottman developed scientifically proven intervention techniques that have helped more than 100,000 couples. These powerful techniques are used to strengthen a couple’s bond.

As with any new skill, practice makes perfect! The Gottman Relationship Builder is a collection of exercises and videos designed to improve your relationship and to greatly minimize chances of relapse. The Builder also enables you to make the most out of your therapy, making each session more effective so that you can reignite that spark faster!

What should I expect with the Gottman Relationship Builder?
  • Unrestricted access to the entire Gottman module library for yourself + your partner
  • 14 modules with 41 research-based exercises and 94 exclusive videos to choose from
  • A powerful, easy-to-use relapse prevention-tool designed for your therapist and you to work together via Gottman Connect
  • Powerful, relapse-preventing results, designed to create relationships for life

This preview shows one partner's instructions for the "Dream Catcher" exercise, intended to help couples tackle gridlocked problems.

Choose a perpetually gridlocked problem to work on before you do this exercise from the Perpetual Problems and Gridlock section's Exercise.

Decide who will be the Dream Catcher and who will be the Dream Speaker—later you will switch roles.

When you are the Dream Catcher, all you have to do is read aloud each of the following questions one by one, in the order in which they are written. After you ask a question, the Dream Speaker will do their best to answer it. Be sure to give your partner plenty of time to do so.

Also, it’s important that you not bring up your position on the issue or challenge the speaker’s answer when you are the listener. Just proceed reading aloud each question and listening to your partner’s answers until all the questions have been asked. If you like, you may ask follow-up questions if you are confused by one of your partner’s answers. But be sure your question is only for clarification.

Afterward, it will be time to trade roles.

Here are the questions for the dream catcher to ask:

  1. Do you have any core beliefs, ethics, or values that are part of your position on this issue?
  2. Is there a story behind this for you, or does this relate to your background or childhood history in some way?
  3. Tell me why this is so important to you.
  4. What feelings do you have about this issue?
  5. What would be your ideal dream here?
  6. Is there a deeper purpose or goal in this for you?

Hopefully, you now understand each other’s positions on your issue more fully. It’s a great time now or next time to work together on creating a compromise for your issue.

key concepts
Sample Exercise

Get Started In Three Simple Steps

Accept the invitation

Your Gottman therapist will begin by inviting you (and your partner, if applicable) to Gottman Connect via an introductory email.

Create your profile

If you don’t have a Gottman Connect account, you will complete a simple registration flow to create your Gottman Connect account.

Work through your assigned modules

Your clinician will work with you directly to create a therapy plan and will assign you modules with instructions, specific to your needs. Feel free to work ahead, all the modules are available at your disposal!

Looking for a therapist? Meet our network of trusted, Gottman-trained therapists on the Gottman Referral Network!